I've wanted to write this post for a long time.This is every thing big and small that went wrong at my wedding.
No one can fully prepare themselves for the "bad things" especially when planning an event. You pay someone to plan your wedding, go over and over the details until you're sure everything is perfect. You've picked the perfect vendors and everything seems to be falling in place. And usually it does. But when you're picturing the perfect wedding, even the smallest thing that's out of place can seem like an elephant in a room to the bride. To me, my wedding contained a herd of elephants. But to my guests, it was "the greatest wedding they had ever been to".
When something bad happens, the best thing you can do is to accept it and move on. And while it may seem impossible to get through every crisis big or small on your wedding day, just know that you can do it!!
Sometimes things so wrong... and that's OK!
Here are some of the things that went wrong at my wedding:
- - - - - : : - - - - -The following are some of the more random things that went wrong.
No explanation needed:
- We ran over time for pictures, cutting into the reception time.
- I slipped in water that was on the floor during our first dance. Played it cool, no one noticed.
- The wedding coordinator never once came into my bridal suite before the wedding started.
- The wedding coordinator had no clue where my throwing bouquet was. (Hint, it was in our bridal suite).
- The DJ played a vocal-less karaoke track for the Father-Daughter/Mother-Son dance, confusing everyone.
- The DJ played all the music off our Do-Not-Play list. Even though no-one was dancing at first, we all got up anyway and convinced our friends to as well.
- The DJ played the wrong version of Hava Nagila and had no idea it involved chairs, completely messing it up. This infuriated my entire family, since the DJ company assured us they knew what they were doing.
People forgot the time.
Jeremy's best man could've sworn the wedding started at 2, when it in fact started at 1pm. Luckily he made it just in time. Literally 3 minutes before the wedding started.
People got lost:
We hired a bus driver to pick people up from the hotel and take them a few miles down the road to our venue (a winery off the highway). The bus driver got lost and it caused our wedding to start a bit late. Guests were literally running in the door off the bus just before the music started.
No body knew what to do:
You can coordinate all you want, but sometimes human error just finds a way to squeeze into the event. During our cake cutting ceremony there was a longgggggg awkward moment of "what do we do next?" where our wedding coordinator was MIA, mingling with guests instead of being on cue.
We had a surprise cake for my brother's 30th birthday and it came out late, without the candles on it or lit. The DJ was in the background playing Hey There Delilah (a song on our DO-NOT-PLAY list) and not paying attention to the fact that we needed the mics up front. I totally lost it. I yelled at my coordinator "WHAT DO WE DO?" and made a small scene. We winged it. And afterwards I ran off and cried in a friend's arms our of the guests sights. Once the crying stopped, I moved on.
Sometimes people in the wedding party, don't want to be there.
This is the most personal of the things that upset me. Without naming names or going into too many personal details, this is what happened.
A few months before the wedding, I was left with no one in town but one of my bridesmaids. Of the 5 total, 2 were out of the country for school/work and 2 lived out-of-state.
- One from out of town decided that she did not want to be a part of our wedding because she could not afford it. We replaced her last minute with another girl in-town, who was awesome at helping me get shit done. Crises averted.
- Another decided that I wasn't giving her enough attention. She was very passive aggressive before, during and after the event. This was the only one in town and I felt hopeless until a few weeks before the wedding when more back-up arrived. She really hurt me, because the one day I get to be the center of attention and she was finding ways to make it about her wants and needs. And it happens sometimes. Luckily for me, it was happening in close containment and she didn't make a scene in front of many guests.
Don't be afraid to ask for refunds!
We had a terrible experience with our bus driver (for getting lost and causing the wedding to run late) and got a percentage back
The DJ was atrocious and we got 60% of the money back. We never had the time to check him out before hand. I really wish we had. If you've got specific tastes in music (or things like Hava Nagila) ask your DJ if they can offer these and if you can see it in action.
Your Bridesmaids are there to Kick A$$ for you
My bridesmaids were amazing at keeping me distracted from all the things going wrong. They were quick on their feet to find solutions, often times kicking the wedding coordinator's ass at getting stuff done. One even had a bag full of things for every situation (like a silly straw to drink wine, and tissues for when we all cried).
This is their one job; to kick ass for the bride! Without my friends and family who went above and beyond to help me through this date, I would've been a total wreck.
Things go wrong. Accept that fact now.
The only thing you can hope for is that you're quick to find a solution. accept the crises and move on.
Odds are, the only people who are going to notice what that something wrong will be just you.