Wedding: Sometimes things go wrong...



I've wanted to write this post for a long time.This is every thing big and small that went wrong at my wedding.

No one can fully prepare themselves for the "bad things" especially when planning an event. You pay someone to plan your wedding, go over and over the details until you're sure everything is perfect. You've picked the perfect vendors and everything seems to be falling in place. And usually it does. But when you're picturing the perfect wedding, even the smallest thing that's out of place can seem like an elephant in a room to the bride. To me, my wedding contained a herd of elephants. But to my guests, it was "the greatest wedding they had ever been to".

When something bad happens, the best thing you can do is to accept it and move on. And while it may seem impossible to get through every crisis big or small on your wedding day, just know that you can do it!!

Sometimes things so wrong... and that's OK!
Here are some of the things that went wrong at my wedding:


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The following are some of the more random things that went wrong. 
No explanation needed:
  • We ran over time for pictures, cutting into the reception time.
  • I slipped in water that was on the floor during our first dance. Played it cool, no one noticed.
  • The wedding coordinator never once came into my bridal suite before the wedding started.
  • The wedding coordinator had no clue where my throwing bouquet was. (Hint, it was in our bridal suite).
  • The DJ played a vocal-less karaoke track for the Father-Daughter/Mother-Son dance, confusing everyone.
  • The DJ played all the music off our Do-Not-Play list. Even though no-one was dancing at first, we all got up anyway and convinced our friends to as well.
  • The DJ played the wrong version of Hava Nagila and had no idea it involved chairs, completely messing it up. This infuriated my entire family, since the DJ company assured us they knew what they were doing.

People forgot the time.
Jeremy's best man could've sworn the wedding started at 2, when it in fact started at 1pm. Luckily he made it just in time. Literally 3 minutes before the wedding started.
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People got lost:
We hired a bus driver to pick people up from the hotel and take them a few miles down the road to our venue (a winery off the highway). The bus driver got lost and it caused our wedding to start a bit late. Guests were literally running in the door off the bus just before the music started.
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No body knew what to do:
You can coordinate all you want, but sometimes human error just finds a way to squeeze into the event. During our cake cutting ceremony there was a longgggggg awkward moment of "what do we do next?" where our wedding coordinator was MIA, mingling with guests instead of being on cue.

We had a surprise cake for my brother's 30th birthday and it came out late, without the candles on it or lit. The DJ was in the background playing Hey There Delilah (a song on our DO-NOT-PLAY list) and not paying attention to the fact that we needed the mics up front. I totally lost it. I yelled at my coordinator "WHAT DO WE DO?" and made a small scene. We winged it. And afterwards I ran off and cried in a friend's arms our of the guests sights. Once the crying stopped, I moved on.
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Sometimes people in the wedding party, don't want to be there.
This is the most personal of the things that upset me. Without naming names or going into too many personal details, this is what happened.

A few months before the wedding, I was left with no one in town but one of my bridesmaids. Of the 5 total, 2 were out of the country for school/work and 2 lived out-of-state.
  • One from out of town decided that she did not want to be a part of our wedding because she could not afford it. We replaced her last minute with another girl in-town, who was awesome at helping me get shit done. Crises averted.
  • Another decided that I wasn't giving her enough attention. She was very passive aggressive before, during and after the event. This was the only one in town and I felt hopeless until a few weeks before the wedding when more back-up arrived. She really hurt me, because the one day I get to be the center of attention and she was finding ways to make it about her wants and needs. And it happens sometimes. Luckily for me, it was happening in close containment and she didn't make a scene in front of many guests. 
I've since made up with the first bridesmaid, but the second is no longer a part of my life. If there have been some un-addressed problems, an event as close and personal as a wedding can often times be the straw that breaks the camels back. The best thing you can do is look to the rest of your friends and family for support to get through it.
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Don't be afraid to ask for refunds!
We had a terrible experience with our bus driver (for getting lost and causing the wedding to run late) and got a percentage back

The DJ was atrocious and we got 60% of the money back. We never had the time to check him out before hand. I really wish we had. If you've got specific tastes in music (or things like Hava Nagila) ask your DJ if they can offer these and if you can see it in action.
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Your Bridesmaids are there to Kick A$$ for you
My bridesmaids were amazing at keeping me distracted from all the things going wrong. They were quick on their feet to find solutions, often times kicking the wedding coordinator's ass at getting stuff done. One even had a bag full of things for every situation (like a silly straw to drink wine, and tissues for when we all cried).

This is their one job; to kick ass for the bride! Without my friends and family who went above and beyond to help me through this date, I would've been a total wreck.
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Things go wrong. Accept that fact now.
The only thing you can hope for is that you're quick to find a solution. accept the crises and move on.

Odds are, the only people who are going to notice what that something wrong will be just you.


<3 Stephanie

7 comments:

  1. I keep telling my friends that it is well possible that their wedding will not be the greatest day of their life. There will be disappointments and hiccups but all that matters is that at the end of the day you will be married to the man of your dreams. I could hardly eat at our wedding and at ten p.m. I was really tired but had to go on until 2am in the morning. But overall we had a great day and we sure are happily married.

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    1. I'm glad to hear that you had a great day! We did too and while at first I was totally bummed that things went wrong, accepting them was the easiest way to look back and appreciate the day. And my best friend I married, of course! :D

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  2. Oh man, you're scaring me! haha

    Since I'm getting married on the cruise, I'm supposed to pretty much be able to just show up and everything should be in place. We'll see how that goes!

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    1. Don't be scared!! I think the best thing you can do is just to be prepared. Be hopeful that everything will turn out for the best, but have back-up plans just in case something doesn't.

      Also, destination weddings are great for that. A friend of mine is doing the same thing, to keep her from having to handle so much.

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  3. My brother was married over 10 years ago. Honestly I'd have to think long and hard about any specifics. Most of what I remember was being utterly exhausted, and collapsing when my brother and his new wife drove away. I did absolutely nothing after they left but sit in a chair. Someone else even got me a plate of cheese and frozen grapes. (I was exhausted b/c in the week's prior, I'd been helping move my brother out of The Colony to Euless, helping my other brother pack up, moving brother's new wife into Euless, plus going to high school, and of course all things related to band.)

    What else do I remember.... My brother is a Marvin the Martian fanatic, and that's what the groom's cake was decorated with. I had to make the suggestion to the photographer to take a picture of whoever caught the bouquet and the garter. Baptist reception, there was no alcohol or dancing.

    My other brother's wedding.. the photographer canceled at the last minute b/c he was a friend doing it as a favor and "didn't have time". And by last minute, I mean the night before. Fortunately for them, I had a decent 35mm camera and had offered to take pictures, if they supplied the film (this was pre-digitial camera days). The photographer ended up showing up, and was a jerk to boot, and snapped at anyone trying to take a picture other than him. He didn't take a single picture at the reception b/c he figured I was there, and he'd just sit back and enjoy it, despite that he had the professional equipment.

    I just realized I've mentioned a few photography issues. I'm an amateur photography. I've also taken wedding pictures at a a few wedding's including a family friend's and my youngest uncle's wedding.

    I remember more of my sister's wedding, but then again it was more recent, being in 2008, and I was maid of honor, which mostly involved fluffing her dress and holding her bouquet and the his rings. Small destination wedding (we have a picture of literally everyone in attendance, all about 30 of us). My new brother almost got sick. And for the life of me, I swore they were saying a "Pair of Mints" (it was a Lutheran ceremony).

    However, they had the best wedding coordinators ever. My new brother's sister, L, and her husband, were like secret service. The husband had a bluetooth and was coordinating everything so as soon as my sister was done with "x", it was move on to "y" that was ready to go, thanks to L. It was so smooth. They had coordinating down to an art.

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  4. That sounds so unfortunate! I know the consolation is that at the end of the day, you married your best friend. I was a maid of honor in a couple weddings this summer and I think both of them were stunned by how fast it goes, how unplanned it goes, and by how little it all mattered at the end, once real life took back over. Hopefully your photos are amazing and you have some really great memories tucked in there, too :-)

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  5. We had a wedding planner and still little things went wrong, but the guests didn't notice at all, they don't know what's supposed to happen!
    Our DJ also played songs we had 'banned', one of them twice. It was annoying. I think they get busy and forget, and I know that a guest requested one of the songs so guess they just go along with it.

    It was the hottest most humid day of the summer when we got married, the men couldn't take off their jackets and vests after the photos to cool down because their white dress shirts were entirely see through! It rained towards the end, we were outside under a tent, but it was that 'keep it hot and sticky' rain that didn't help one bit. I kept running back into the house to stand over the AC vents in the floor and let the cool breeze fly under my dress!

    Point is, however your wedding day goes everyone will remember it as a fantastic day and even the bad things that happen turn into really good stories after some time. :)

    Congrats!

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